Crushes...

Fleeting and fun moments of delicious goodness.

When was the last time you had a crush?

I think that a handful have popped up in the past couple years. The crushes were different flavors and had variety.

There are sweet and quick crushes when you “fancy” someone a little bit. There are ones where you come across the person often and seeing them brightens your day. In this case, there may not be a reality of you and them being a thing, but it is fun and seeing this person brings you some sunshine.

With some crushes, there is the possibility of something, which makes the affinity for someone filled with hope and who knows what. Then, there are crushes where you are actively getting to know someone and that crushiness is in full force and blooming. You are spending time with them, it is good, and the warmth between you is growing. As like deepens, there is this fluffy layer where you feel a little giddy, blushy, and floaty when you are in their orbit and are thinking about them.

Crushes can be quite enjoyable. That is the space that I am in these days, but I am sure that we have all experienced the full spectrum of crushes through the course of our lives. For now, I am thinking about being grown and having a crush on someone. It kind of surprises me when it happens.

I have felt the proverbial butterflies. The rush and flood of intoxication by the presence of a person and the reminiscing on time spent together. Those reflections can happen as soon as you are apart or slowly seep into a moment when you find your eyes brightening and the corners of your mouth curling upwards.

As I reflect on crushes overall, there are references to crushes in literature, movies, television, and songs - of course. Crushes can have a way of sneaking up on you or they can envelope you. My opinion is that it is more of a positive thing than a negative. The latter comes when the feelings are not equal and are not returned.

There is something refreshing about a crush when it is new. When you are a grown up and have those burgeoning feelings - it is pretty cool. It can take you back to a lighter and airier time. Crushes may seem youthful, but I think it is more about the hope of something that could bloom and blossom.

It is interesting when it sneaks up on you and you find yourself suddenly looking out for someone. You may find yourself leaning in a little to see them or keeping an eye out for them. You could randomly be thinking or smiling about someone. It can be fun, pleasant, and entertaining. It is like that when it is nice and light.

Sometimes you have these connections with people, and you just feel it. It is not imagined and there is something about it that is palpable. You are so connected and while the depth is there - it has a time-limit or expiration.

The amount of time involved does not make it less real, but it can be like water running through your fingers. It feels good, can be cool, but you cannot grasp it - but it was real. That makes it tough. There is a spark and a sizzle. Yet, it’s like a firecracker - it is bright, brilliant, spectacular, and temporary. I have learned to hold onto the light of the sparkle even if that brightness faded that moment, that day, or evermore. I would rather have some zing than not have it.

Now, I have to tell on myself a little…

There is a man, let’s call him “Nirvana,” who makes me smile - a lot. He happens to be a little younger, but his age is not relevant - it is just a detail. Maybe, it is notable because that factor does not matter. He is sweet, funny, considerate, and has depth. Plus, we laugh a lot. I appreciate his intelligence and his care. He is genuine and is also a man. There is a warmth that flushes over me, around me, and through me regarding him.

See?? Look at me gushing. But…that is what he does to me and brings forth. I also talk to him about crushing on him and the happy feelings he inspires. Why? Because it is real and they are there. Plus, sometimes, I cannot even stop it from coming out.

We get in a bit of a haze with each other. Nirvana is expressive to me and about the two of us. That realness, openness, and him being heartfelt is a mutual feeling that is not to be bottled up or precautious about. This, is where I appreciate maturity and the fact that we are grown folks.

Okay, I have “fee-fees” for him and I get “in my feels.” I am okay with that because I feel confident about how he moves, acts, and what he professes. He is a comfort in so many ways, which…only makes me like him more. It is lovely how complimentary he is, respectful of me and my time, and that he truly appreciates me. Nirvana is quite vocal about everything. It is quite heartwarming.

It also does not hurt that he is an amazing kisser, extremely giving, attentive, and there is an exceptional symmetry to our physical chemistry. So, there is that too.

You can gather that I really really like Nirvana and love spending time with him. At this stage, I do not just reside in crushville with him - things are deep. I find that my feelings can have depth with him while I still crush on him. That is a new variant for me. At times, my face literally hurts from smiling, thinking about him, and some of our highlights. It is ooey gooey. No other way to say it.

By the way, he has a great voice. It gives me the shivers at times. Whew, that man is a gem.

Oh Samantha Baker…

One of the most classic and biggest crushes I remember from pop culture is Molly Ringwald’s “Samantha” crushing on “Jake Ryan” (Michael Schoeffling) in Sixteen Candles. This was the 80’s, and Samantha was totes cute and Jake Ryan was hot. Then, there was Anthony Michael Hall’s “The Geek” aka “Farmer Ted,” who was crushing on Samantha. Oh boy, was that a tangled cat’s cradle.

If you have not seen the movie, you should. Through a host of misunderstandings, quirky, and awkward moments things unfold and there is an enjoyable ride that is had. Samantha ends up connecting with Jake and The Geek gets to have a special interaction and highlight to his own adventures.

This movie was filled with was angst, longing, bungled opportunities, confusion, and a host of unfulfilled wants. There is one conversation that occurs between Samantha and her father, “Jim Baker” (Paul Dooley), which I will never forget. He is consoling her when she is feeling low. Her birthday went unnoticed by her family, and she is going through a host of emotions about crushing on someone to seemingly no avail.

While discussing the crush, she told her dad that “it hurts.” Her father comforted her and notably said, “That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call ‘em something else.”

That line hit then and it still hits. It was poignant in its directness and simplicity. I recall being a teen and latching onto what he said. When I had moments, when it broke bad or the odds were not in my favor romantically - I remembered that quote.

(Also, thank you John Hughes for this movie and many others. Crushing on his movies has always been easy and they did not disappoint. Chef’s kiss forever. Mwah!)

Go Forth…

Crushes are a part of life. They can sneak up on you, take hold of you, catch your breath, or even stun and astonish you. There are times when they can be fleeting or leave a mark on you. I think it is healthy that crushes vary and there is a beauty to being able to have more than one.

Whether you knowingly are open to a crush, find yourself caught up in one, oblivious to them, or content either way – admiring someone and engaging with a person, that puts a lift in your step and spirits, can be pleasant, exhilarating, and fun.

One must remember that eye candy is free. If it suits you, harmlessly flirt and enjoy!

You never know what could happen…