Boredom Breeds Mischief and...The Experiment - Part IV - Last Man Standing

Meeting the last guy from "The Experiment" and going from IRL to OMG real quick.

After a week of texting, many jokes, and a few below surface-level chats…I was going to meet up with the 8th and last guy that I swiped on during Boredom Breeds Mischief and…The Experiment. I had swiped with abandon, without a care, without giving much thought, and not allowing any scrutiny to creep in. I kept it easy and breezy.

What followed, after making contact with the 7 out of 8 guys, was some matching, unmatching, a range of messages, flirting, and one saucy encounter.  And, then there was one…Will. He said I could call him Willie. I would not. I was not feeling that - it just felt odd. That would be a theme that would come up with him a couple of few times. 

When I sent my opening message to the other guys on Bumble, I sent them all the same message: “Hi [Insert name], what are you getting into this weekend?” It was a Friday night. I sent Will a message that said, “Hello Will.” His message was different because we had previously matched on Bumble about 6 to 7 months prior. We were in touch for a couple weeks, off the app, and the messaging fizzled pretty quickly. After our messaging faded, I unmatched him in the app. 

When I saw that he was in my Beeline, and had swiped on me again, I was surprised. One, I did not know that you could reconnect with someone after you unmatched with the other person in Bumble. Two, he was the one who was in contact less and less after we started messaging. I gave a shoulder shrug when I saw him on the app. He caught me while in the midst of my bored moment. I thought, “Why the eff not? Let’s go Will. What ya got?”  

We exchanged pleasant messages on the app. He was funny and a gentleman. He was solid, fit, and broader than some guys I have gone out with. He seemed established, together, and he was a little older, which I liked. The sweetness factor was working in his favor. We transitioned to texting and I don’t think he remembered that we were in touch before. I wasn’t offended but I noted that. 

Will was good about sending messages, touching base, checking in, and being positive. He did make a lot of jokes. A good number of them were funny. There were moments when he got on a tear, and I felt like I was at a stand-up show. A show that went on 20 minutes too long. 

He was excited about me and meeting up. Will was intelligent and an encouraging person, which was nice. I usually got off phone calls with him, chuckling a little bit or shaking my head from something humorous or… a moment that made you go, “Hmm…” 

We had been texting and messaging for just over a week and it was definitely time to meet or put this thing out to pasture. Here is where curiosity can get the best of me. We both invested time and even though there was a small voice in the corner of my mind saying, “Nah, this ain’t it.”

Within the dating realm, there are parts of me that are polite, want to be considerate of someone else’s time, and cannot escape some etiquette when engaging others. Thus, I proceeded.

It was time to meet, and it was a particularly busy time for me. I was balancing my own schedule and a lot of activities and commitments for The Kid. Will had games and practices to attend for his own child as well. One weekend, I had an hour that I could hang with him, and we agreed to take advantage of this brief window.

Will was very flexible with things overall and fairly PG-13. He told me that I could come over to his place, that we could chat, and get to know one another better. Afterwards, I could pick up The Kid and their friends from a party and carry on with the rest of my day. 

Will texted and he had returned home from an event was tired and was going to take a nap. He said that he would leave the front door to his home open for me and that I could let myself into the place. I felt fine with that and looked up his house online. He lived in a quiet residential area, about 15 minutes away, on a cul-de-sac.

I got on the phone with my girl, Bridget, and I told her about what was unfolding. As I sent her Will’s address, there was another tiny pull in the corner of my brain about this meetup. I was also distracted with everything I had done that day, with the time crunch I was under, and keeping all my responsibilities in order.

It was a Sunday. There was a running list in my brain. I had a lot to do to prepare for Monday and the school/work week. I pulled onto his block, and I was having trouble finding the numbers for the homes. I called Bridget back and she pulled up the house on maps. I was looking around, rambling, and trying to identify this daggone house. I was short on time and did not have much to spare. 

Now that it was happening, I was ready to be at Will’s place. Bridget told me to look for a black truck in the driveway and, whoop, there it was. She told me to contact her if I needed her and she wanted to make sure that I was safe. I told her I would be in touch, and I should be okay. 

As I approached the front door, I saw some Amazon packages on his porch. I opened the screen door and turned the front doorknob. Once I entered, it was dark. There was a flicker from the TV on the far side of the living room, which had an open layout. 

I saw his legs stretched out on a couch as I moved from the entryway. He was to the left, laying there and wearing basketball shorts and a hoodie. I could see his chest rising and falling from sleeping soundly. The hood of his sweatshirt was pulled over his face. 

There was a sofa chair to the right. I moved towards it and placed my handbag and a brown paper bag down. His birthday had just passed. I brought him two pieces of dessert - a strawberry shortcake and an Oreo cheesecake. I love birthdays and think that everyone should be celebrated. 

I walked back to the porch and brought his Amazon packages in. As I closed the door and turned, he was directly in front of me, and we both screamed. I saw AirPods in his ears. He did not hear me moving around and did not know I was there. I did not hear a thing from him because he moved so quietly in his socks - stealthily even. 

His hood from his sweatshirt was still up. As he pulled the hood back, he reached towards a wall and flick. He turned on the lights, and then I saw him. 

At that moment, I knew. It doesn’t take long. In an instant, I just knew. Nope, and no thank you. He did not look like his photos. The light was on, and the jig was up.

Will hugged me tight and said, “You are so pretty.”  I smiled and said, “Thank you,” as he stuck to me like glue. 

My eyes scanned my surroundings during the embrace and my exit strategy was forming.

A clock appeared in the corner of my mind. My timer was set. 

Tick muthafckin’ tock…