Boredom Breeds Mischief and...The Experiment
Reckless texting, swiping with abandon, and wanting some "action."
One Friday night, after a dinner party, I had some extra energy, and I was a bit bored. A girlfriend and I were supposed to hit a local bar after the gathering. She was too pooped afterwards and went home. I was tired before dinner but rallied to go and had a wonderful time. I was excited to chill with my friend after and have some more laughs. We always have a great time together, but I understood that she was beat. I was a little antsy and I was not sure what I wanted to do but I knew I wanted to get into something. Sometimes boredom breeds adventure, mischief, and shenanigans. It can even breed an experiment.
I pulled into my driveway and whipped out my phone. I opened up a couple dating apps and looked through some likes. I then thought about a few guys that might be around and went through my contacts. I just wanted something more from the night. I did not want it to be over. I wanted more “action.” I did not have a particular idea of what kind of action I wanted but I was feeling a little squirrely.
I then became the “Hey” bandit. I am definitely used to being on the receiving end of those text messages, but I have not been the perpetrator in quite some time. I sent “Hey,” “Hola,” and “Hey Hey” text messages. Sheesh, I hit someone with the “Hey Hey.” Oh goodness, the double “Hey” - I was in a mood. I received a couple messages back. One guy knew that your girl was up to something and trying to get into something. He asked for a raincheck, and I said, “Maybe.” I was not necessarily trying to get under someone, but I was just aiming to keep the night going. I wanted to have some intrigue. It seemed like I was trying to catch a whiff of adventure, and have a hand in creating it, if it was not going to present itself. Another text buddy was out of town. One other did not respond. I thought, “That’s fair. It’s late and we have not been in touch for weeks. Respect.”
To the apps I went! Certain apps work for certain people. I decided to go on Bumble because I was heading straight to my Beeline and to the different people that already “liked” me. I was just going to deal with a sure pool of folks. Now usually, Bumble has no love for me. I have had some dates, encounters, and some interesting moments related to Bumble. But Bumble really wasn't doing it for me and just wasn't my jam. Different apps work for different people and sometimes they work for you at various times. I have had apps from past years be spot on and now it's not even a thing for me - it’s just not it. RIP OKC (OK Cupid), Match, and Tinder - you did me right back in the day.
Back to the Beeline. I decided that I was just going to make some quick decisions - match or swipe on 7 to 8 people. This was a speed round! I was not going to pay attention to age, and I would just swipe on someone that was cute or something that momentarily caught my attention. Maybe I wouldn't have swiped on these guys if I were giving it more thought or time to think on it, but it was speed swiping time. This was just go and let's get it.
I swiped, swiped, swiped, and swiped some more. I don't usually sit and ruminate about messages, but I have given them some thought at times. The thing about Bumble too is that it's supposed to be this freeing and controlling thing that a woman can message first. Years ago, I liked that. Now, it's something that just gives me a tiny shade of agida. In this particular moment, I wasn't even worried about messages. I wrote the same thing to seven guys: “Hi [Insert name,] what are you getting into this weekend?” Boom, done. That was it. There was one more guy that I had swiped on. He is someone who liked me a season ago in the summer. We messaged a little bit, then we moved to texting, and the messaging was a bit sparse and stale after that. He faded and that was that. No harm, no foul as far as I was concerned. That can happen. When I saw his profile come up, I wondered if he remembered me or if he wanted a do over? My message to him was just “Hello [Insert name]”. Then, it was just time to wait. But I didn't have to wait long.
I had someone hit me back right away. He was 31 and he came hard and quick with his messages and his intent. He was flirty and it was all about the sauce. He wanted to hook up and he invited me over. Now, while I was up for adventure and intrigue, I wasn't sure how far I wanted to take things that evening. In the meantime, I wandered over to my local bar and said hello to some folks. I sat and had a drink. I asked for a smallish to medium drink, but my bartender friend poured me a large. I sat there and I listened to some live music. It was great and I was jamming.
I had some decisions to make. 31 was cute and he was well-endowed. But, as I rocked and jammed, I knew I wasn't trying to go over to his place. It wasn't a safety thing, it was a lazy thing. Also, it was hella late and while I appreciated him inviting me over, I did not feel like going to some 31-year-old’s place. I didn't really feel like having him over to mine even though it was visitor ready. I think our timing was just a little off or my mischief level was on medium. It could always go up in a heartbeat, but I was steady in the medium level area. He sent some pics, and I sent some pics, and we had some spicy convo. I sent him a picture of my drink and told him that I would finish it and then we could figure everything out. He offered to come to me, and I was still debating. Now part of my debate was about whether I felt like getting naked that night or not. I was about 50/50 on that. The band I was listening to was really good. Two other guys had also been texting me. I was multitasking, jamming, taking in the hum of the scene around me, responding to messages, and letting my drink sink in.
Time is of the essence when you're going to hook up and I was kind of taking a bit of time. When I finally concluded that I might be down for the boom chicka boom, I started to write to him to say give me like 10 minutes or that he could start making his way over to my town. As I went to send the message, that I was basically good to go, he had unmatched me. I just chuckled and thought “that's fair and makes total sense.” I wasn't really that motivated by him anyway and this band playing in the background was actually a band that I had been hoping to see again. I had seen them at another bar about 3 months prior to that evening. Everything was all good and I was where I was supposed to be.
This kicked off the beginning of my experiment. I swiped with abandon, didn’t put too much thought into anything, there were more messages on the horizon, and there was more to come.
One thing was certain - I was not bored anymore…
“Sheesh, I hit someone with the “Hey Hey.” Oh goodness, the double “Hey” - I was in a mood.”
I laughed out loud. 😀